Monday, December 9, 2013

Do Dictators Wear Mittens?

We arrived at church yesterday morning relatively on time.  I exited the car with a well stocked diaper bag, Mini-human #1 on foot and mini-human #2 in bucket car seat on my arm.  I was feeling pretty a-mom-mazing.  It's "winter" and I use the quotations to mean it is a little below 40 degrees, it's not snowing and we don't really need parkas and snow pants, because we are real New Englanders.

There is a SUPER nice volunteer church parking guy who I chat with every week.  He knows our family, our cars and our regular parking spots.  He looks at Mini-human #1 and asks HIM, "aren't your hands cold buddy?"

Woah woah woah, back it up super nice volunteer church parking guy.  Seriously?  I am killing it right now.  No one has BM in their pantaloons.  Everyone ate breakfast.  I even took a SHOWER.

Time travel back 40 minutes prior:
The wheels started to come off the bus this morning right before we were ready to leave.  I casually started the dialogue: Hey bud, it's time to go to church, please put your jacket on.  Please put your jacket on. Put your jacket on...He finally flipped on his own jacket (#thankyoudaycare.) Then I offered him his moose hat which set him off into an angry tirade.  PUT DOWN MY SIPPY!  I WANT MY SUPERMAN HAT!  I WANT MY RACCOON HAT! I WANT HOT CHEESE! GET APPLES AT STORE!

So no, super nice volunteer church parking guy, he does not have mittens on.  I don't think his hand are cold.  If they were then he would shout, I WANT MY MOOSE MITTENS! and I would casually take them out of our well stocked diaper bag.


  1. I miss you. This makes me miss you even more. Can't wait to hear all about your mom adventures in sassy land.