Win/Lose and Draw: Why I am SO over January and February

Here it is an airing of grievances about the months of January and February.  My hope is that after this bitchfest summarization of a post, that I can "get over myself" and get back to my regular scheduled blogging.

1.) I returned to work.  I love my co-workers, my students are nice and after 9 years of teaching, I don't have a lot of stress about school, prep or anything like that. #WIN. WIN. WIN.

2.)  It took me a month to complete any and all assorted paperwork that accumulated during the time I was out on maternity leave. #DRAW.

3.)  My neighbor died.  Neighbor Al was 58 years old.  He lived with his deaf, senile, elderly mother.  They used to argue loudly.  Now there is a bizarre silence at the house.  When we saw the body bag removed from their house, I was hoping that his mother died, because well, she was old. Not so much it was Al.  #LOSE. LOSE.

4.)  Then about a week later, my friend/co-worker died.  Ed was 48 years old.  He was literally love with work boots on.  We were scheduled to go on a yearly gambling trip together in two weeks with other co-workers.  I was really looking forward to it.  Our school community and actual community are still in shock.  Totally unexpected and craptastic.  # LOSE LOSE LOSE.

5.)  Our house caught the plague.  We tried to avoid it...but...it is basically unavoidable.  Daycare is like a petri dish.  So that was two weeks of mini-human grossness.  Whatever. #Draw

6.) We are not sleeping.  Still.  It got to the point that it was so bad, I didn't even want to talk about it, but then I felt like I had to talk about it (so to explain, my momnesia and my glazed over look.)  Finally, after process of elimination ( amber necklace, gas drops, elevated crib, sacrificing a live chicken) we determined that mini #2 had essentially a 3 week DOUBLE ear infection. #LOSE.

7.)  It takes mini #1 like hours to settle down for bed? By the time he sleeps, mini #2 is awake again.  Did I mention we are not sleeping? # LOSE.

8.)  About a week ago, the hubs and I went to Sugar Loaf mountain to hang out with friends and ski and board.  It was awesome and we both slept 8 hours in a row, two nights in a row. We also go to hang out with two other couples that make up our "Seacoast Family".  #WIN WIN.

9.)  We have an army of help.  During the ski weekend in which mini #2 was screaming every time she was put down and mini #1 had quazi decided that he wanted to be potty trained....my parentals and my in-laws manned the ship of crazy.  I am not sure what we would do without them. #WIN WIN

10.)  It won't stop snowing and our snow blower is broken and we are in a polar vortex half the time so playing outside is virtually impossible which leads to excess energy and as a result...no sleep. #LOSE.

Well if you lost interest in my list of lamo complaints, I don't blame you.  I think I lost interest too/accidentally fell asleep.

Here's to a better March.

The Calm Before the Storm.

Truth Statement:  I like working.  I like my job.   I think teaching is hilarious and kids make me laugh everyday.  I am NOT destined to be a full time domestic engineer.  Also, it was a huuuuuge relief getting paid yesterday for the first time in months.

In that direct deposit moment, we went from One Income, Two Kids - OITK, to Two Incomes, Two Kids.- TITK  Phew. I love coupons but I do not love using the magic money card - neither does the hubs.

(To think that some people are DINKs or OINKs...One time, I went to visit my friend in Miami for the New Year, about a million years ago, and I realized that he was in a relationship with two other men.  Triple income, NO KIDS! TINK! Ahhh, I digress.

I was scheduled to go back to work today. So yesterday looked something like this:

image provided by NASA.  Crazy provided by massive life transitions.

The morning of New Years day felt like the calm before the storm.  We started at a friends house with a pancake party to ring in the new year!  Fun.  After the party, I started to prepare the minis for daycare and myself for work.  #1 mini has not been to daycare for about a week since his uncle was visiting.  He started screaming when I mentioned that tomorrow would be a "school day."  #2 is only 4 months old and she is starting daycare for the first time.  She just stared at #1 mini like he was a lunatic.

I hyperventilated throughout the afternoon; sterilizing bottles, labeling items and counting things repeatedly.  Admittedly, my emotions were all over the place.  I was joyful, frantic, tearful and exhausted.  To add to the anxiety of the unknown, there was a storm brewing.  A literal two day snow storm.

I have been teaching almost 10 years.  The trick with snow days is this: if you plan a lesson and set your clothes out, then there WILL be a SNOW DAY.  It almost always works.

As the evening slinked on, I obsessively checked the temperature and the humidity and the local weather station for cancellations.  I took cleansing breaths as I comforted #1 mini while he screamed MAMAMAMAAA! for 45 minutes and watched the video monitor waiting for #2 to wake up.  I was twitching and in bed by 8:30.  I mentally prepared a lesson.  I visualized a happy day.  At 9 pm, I got a call from a co-worker.  It had been declared a SNOW DAY: THURSDAY AND FRIDAY! Huzzah!

I turned off my hideous 5 am alarm.  Huuuuge relief.   I continued to do the momma thing: waking up, rubbing backs, sucking snot, changing diapers and I knew what to expect in the morning.  Then another amazing thing happened.  Daycare was miraculously OPEN.

So now, I sit at Starbucks as the snow accumulates, skinny peppermint mocha in one hand, curriculum in the other and I will lesson plan until March.

Happy Coffee, Happy New Year!

Do Dictators Wear Mittens?

We arrived at church yesterday morning relatively on time.  I exited the car with a well stocked diaper bag, Mini-human #1 on foot and mini-human #2 in bucket car seat on my arm.  I was feeling pretty a-mom-mazing.  It's "winter" and I use the quotations to mean it is a little below 40 degrees, it's not snowing and we don't really need parkas and snow pants, because we are real New Englanders.

There is a SUPER nice volunteer church parking guy who I chat with every week.  He knows our family, our cars and our regular parking spots.  He looks at Mini-human #1 and asks HIM, "aren't your hands cold buddy?"

Woah woah woah, back it up super nice volunteer church parking guy.  Seriously?  I am killing it right now.  No one has BM in their pantaloons.  Everyone ate breakfast.  I even took a SHOWER.

Time travel back 40 minutes prior:
The wheels started to come off the bus this morning right before we were ready to leave.  I casually started the dialogue: Hey bud, it's time to go to church, please put your jacket on.  Please put your jacket on. Put your jacket on...He finally flipped on his own jacket (#thankyoudaycare.) Then I offered him his moose hat which set him off into an angry tirade.  PUT DOWN MY SIPPY!  I WANT MY SUPERMAN HAT!  I WANT MY RACCOON HAT! I WANT HOT CHEESE! GET APPLES AT STORE!

So no, super nice volunteer church parking guy, he does not have mittens on.  I don't think his hand are cold.  If they were then he would shout, I WANT MY MOOSE MITTENS! and I would casually take them out of our well stocked diaper bag.