How Raisins Can Make You Appreciative

Thank goodness we have hard wood floors!
..... because that's where my children's collection of smushed raisins live.

Open concept first floor home, two working parents with scattered brains and an adhd dog in tow
.... two kids old enough to "help" means that: raisins are obtained from the pantry, "shared" and then "put away" which means that there are rogue raisins on the floor. 

Soon to be hidden in a corner, smushed and then lamented over...

Mostly by me.

Oh I try to pick them up when I think of it.
I even dutifully poke and scrape the smushed raisin with my pointy toed shoes before I leave for work in the dimly illuminated mornings.

If they come loose, I raise my hands victoriously and scoop it up, feeling accomplished. If they continue to stubbornly adhere to the boards of the floor, then I resign myself and file it in my "to-do" list.


When I return home with my tribe, I feel annoyed, then momentarily embarrassed that I still have smushed raisins on the floor. Do other responsible adults have these sticky visitors? Why can't I remember to scrape them off the floor? Do other mothers catch them before they fall? Where are these mothers?  

I read my kids a book while they eat dinner.

My brain wanders while I read the story book that my children are the source of the unwanted raisins, and my children are thriving.  

So I let the raisins live in my house, on my floor, for one more day. 

A Letter to Parents of a Student with an 89%

Disclaimer: No, this post is not about any one situation in particular.  I have been teaching for over a decade and it is a conglomerate of about 1300 students and my experiences, along with the experiences of good friends within several entirely different school districts in several states as well as sassy figments of my imagination (obviously).

** It is also part of a training that I intend to give on Standards Based Instruction/Assessment at some point in life, so stay tuned for that!**

If you have been in the education system where you had to assess work in a traditional point-based system, …..your welcome, I am about to write things you have been thinking.

Dear Parents of a Student with an 89%,

Your student is a good student, a very good student!  89%! Wow! Nice work student, high five! They have earned a summation of 89% of the credit assigned to all assignments within one academic quarter.  I’m sorry that’s not to your satisfaction.  While this may feel like a personal blow to you/your student, it’s not.  I did not randomly assign this grade to your student - they earned it.  As you know, during the quarter I enter grades into a computerized grading system and it uses the pre-set expectations I have decided upon- (these expectations were given out at open house, parent teacher conferences and posted to my website) to spit out an average. No, I do not offer extra credit.  No, they cannot bring in a canned good or dress up in school colors to earn back that 1 point….  And by the way, its not just one point, it’s one percent of all points assigned from the entire quarter.

Just to be clear, I did not personally keep your student off of high honor roll, they did it themselves.  No, I don’t hate them. No, I don’t hate you.  Is there anything they can do? Yes, please have them try 1% harder next quarter.  Is it sad that their grandparents will not see their name printed in the newspaper with the other children in the all A’s section? – maybe?  Unfortunately, they will have to “slum it up” with the other regular honor roll students in the section printed below it.  I guarantee they will still become successful adults.  If they are interested, they will get into a college.  If they are athletically gifted, they will earn a sports scholarship.  The 89% they earned one quarter in my class will neither be a help, nor a hindrance in either situation. 

Your student is a good student and they are earning an 89%!  If the other 11% of their energy was invested in something else this quarter (a different class, their family, their job, their appearance, the opposite sex, what their peers are wearing, what their peers are doing, annoying you, face timing, tweeting, snapping, posting, thinking about touching or actually touching, smoking, drinking, driving, drinking while driving, using drugs,) then I would say we are collectively winning the battle.  I am here to help and (I know this stings)…but I may know things about your child that you don't, so don’t bite the hand that feeds.

Not satisfied with that answer? Please don’t take to the weekly town paper or social media venues to slander my school/name/grading expectations.  I get it, your fierce tiger parent instincts are coming out– but your privacy setting are not tight and with six degrees of separation I will find out and then I will be annoyed – not shocked – but annoyed.  Perhaps you should have your child help you tighten up those settings.

Yes, I will meet with your student, you, the department head, administration, their grieving grandparents or the pope himself to discuss this grade of 89%, if this is that important to you.  However, your student hasn’t skipped a beat and looks happy and healthy per usual.

To be honest, I have my own tiger-mom-ish business to attend to.  I am thinking about other things when I leave work: Do my children have manners? Are they kind? Did I remember to pack them mittens for daycare?  Will my kid need surgery for that weird gastrointestinal thing that just happened? Will I be able to pay for heating oil upfront or will I have to charge it? Do we need milk (again)? When will I stop stress eating and lose my baby weight? When will I be able to go on a date with my husband?  The list goes on and on and on.  See how your student’s 89% didn’t make it in there? That’s because your student is a good student.  Take a breath and have a cocktail, you are doing a good job and so are they!

Talk to you soon,

One of the 50+ teachers your child will have throughout their educational career…

P.S. – In a school with only standards based instruction and assessment, this letter would not exist.  

Just sayin'.

Balancing Act

Last weekend we did an activity with a group of 5^th and 6^th graders at our church.  In the activity there was a plate that was passed around a circle of students.  Each child was asked to share something they were required to do this past week and then add a plastic cup to the plate.  The object of the activity was to stack/balance as many cups on the plate as possible without any of them falling. The kids said things like: walk the dog, go to camp, take the trash out….one set of siblings said: do mission work in Bolivia- (fair enough, they didn’t really have a choice in that.)  Each student cautiously stacked one cup at a time.  My husband was visibly surprised when the plate made it completely around the circle.

Unfortunately, when the cups started to fall, they didn’t fly off the plate in a dramatic explosion…. they simply stacked quietly, one on top of another. 

The obvious message: When there is too much on your plate, things that are important will be neglected or eliminated.  In this case:  your prayer life, praise for God, being in community with others.  Truth statement:  Everyone is over scheduled, sadly, even some 12 year olds. 

The activity was entirely too ironic.  At the beginning of the summer, another woman stepped down from teaching because her schedule was becoming consumed by the activities of her daughters.  I finally volunteered to teach at church.  I had resisted for years (seven years to be exact.)  I had staked out that hour and a half of quiet time as mine. Mine mine mine. However, when this opportunity arose this summer, I thought I was ready and I added that cup to my plate.

Immediately, things started to stack up.   I was tired.  I was resentful.  I was desperate for quiet time. Caring for two young kids full time this summer was an exhausting transition.  Now the hour and a half of quiet time was trumped yet again by needing to do something for someone else.  I thought I could handle it, but it was too much.  I needed to be alone.  Alone with God, alone to people watch, alone to stare off into space…just alone.

Even more ironic, I had prayed about my decision to teach at church during this time and God told me nothing.  Even though I had no response to my requests for guidance, I decided teaching at church wasn’t right for me.   I emailed the head of children’s ministries.  I needed quiet time with God back on my plate.  She understood. In her response she said “God knows and provides.”  Ironically, teaching children about God was the thing to purge.  The next morning, God sent me this activity to teach the children.  He does know.  Message received.

You choose to put things on your plate.

It is not my intention to construct a deep and reflective post with suggestions of how to juggle it all. What I am suggesting, is put things on your plate that you honestly WANT to spend time balancing and purge the rest.  Stop lamenting that there are too many things on your plate and start throwing shit out! I am worth it and so are you!

Don't be this guy!

Lets honor what we want to balance on our plate.  You want to make space on your plate to write blog posts? Do it.  You want to have family time from 5:30-8:30? Do it. 

I balance my marriage, my young children, my friends and family, my job, my need to exercise slowly for 30 minutes a day, my blog and my quiet time. I purged teaching at church. It was a selfish decision and I don’t regret it.  I already feel more at ease.  Come fall, I will spend an hour and a half in church, in quiet reflection and prayer.  What are you going to purge to make room on your plate for the things that bring you balance?