Shhhhhhh.

Having been home now for two weeks with my kids we have been out and about quite a bit. 

*climbs up on my soapbox*  

People: “What is up with this subset of adults that feel like incessant chatter/praise/narrating to their children is necessary in public places?! “ Ugh. Could we be a little bit quieter?

“Lily, do you see the slide? The blue, slippery twisty, shiny symmetrical slide?  Do you think it’s hot? How can we find out? “ Lily throws her body downs the slide ignoring mother.  “Ohhh thank youuuuu so much for coming down the slide feet first.  I really appreciate it.  Oh no Lily, please don’t eat wood chips. No, not healthy, no thank youuuu.”

Why the chatter? Is it to subconsciously prove to others that you have ah-mazing parenting skills?  Because FYI: You can have ah-mazing parenting strategies, but your kids can still be little sassy assholes when you are out in public.  Maybe, your kid just wants to play and explore, maybe they want to do this in peace.

Is it the working parent guilt morphing into verbal vomit?  Are you trying to cram “teachable moments” into every freakin’ second of the day? Did you not get the memo? It’s my summer vacation and I crave silence as much as possible.  So please take the narration station to the far side of the playground.

Is it that you are craving adult conversation and only have your toddler around? You should make a list of talking points for when you call your bestie during nap-time.  I’ve done it. It’s life.  My kids don’t care about my smart, color blocked, cocktail dress.

I want to observe my surroundings.  I want to be reflective.  I want to be curious.  I want to have space in the air for the silence to rest so I can process all of Earth’s stuff.  So if this means quietly standing by the swings as I watch a deer prance by in the early morning sunshine, so be it.  We’ll talk about it in a few minutes.

So let’s review…Verbal re-directs for less than ideal behavior when necessary? Fine.   Praise when son is playing side by side with daughter peacefully for the first time all day?  Yes.  A mention if there is an active construction site coming up? You bet.  Answering your child when they say “mama!” ten thousand times? Lovingly respond only 5 thousand times (to build character).

But please, the hovering, smothering, redirecting, narrating, saturated with praise chatter….it’s exhausting.  If I am tired of it, I am sure your own offspring are tired of it as well, so please be quiet.