Saturday, October 4, 2014

Pairing Glossy with Gritty

I began to write this letter this summer for a writing contest to potentially be included in a book....the submission was due September 1... I returned to teaching on August 25 and then became hypercritical of my blogging and never submitted it.

This afternoon my son's behavior was abysmal.  Actually, it still is as I type.  I put myself in time out to post this.  This letter is good and we need it right now- enjoy.

Sometimes we do have moments like this, I swear.
A letter to my son:

Be kind and use your manners.  Say please, thank you and excuse me when you do something gross.  Hold doors for women AND MEN.  Holding doors for men, if you are a man doesn’t make you gay, IT MAKES YOU POLITE!  And honey, if you are gay, that’s cool too.   I am pretty sure that men like to date polite men who hold doors open and say excuse me when they burp or fart.  Speaking of farting and anything else in your crotchal region….

…Please call your genitals by their biologically correct names.  I spent the first several years of your life using the correct terminology for your body parts so you wouldn’t be referring to them as your: sausage/weiner/pepe/twig and berries….  To me, slang for your penis and testicles sounds stupid.  Call your parts what they are.  I understand in middle school you will probably call it “your junk” because you will have to fit in with your friends.  Fair enough.  However, please, please, please, use the correct terminology when asking questions of your parents or your medical doctors.  Speaking of professionals….

…Appreciate those who work with you.  Know their names.  If you suck at names, write them down and hide them in your desk drawer.  It matters.  Shoot the shit with the everyone.  Find out what you have in common. Everyone is a cog in the same wheel.  Who do you think refills the toilet paper? Or makes sure your pencil sharpener is working? Or will ask about your kids or how your day was? Who do you think makes sure important emails get forwarded or deliveries are received? People work together.  Treat all relationships with love and respect. Speaking of relationships and love…

….Love what you do and If you don’t, try to find something you do love about it.  I am a middle school science teacher and at least once a day, I have an authentic belly laugh.  Side note, expecting that your entire day, each day is going to be magical is bullshit.  However, if you can practice finding something happy about your day, they will feel happier because you actively try to tune into the happy frequency.  Life and love and being a parent (especially your parent), is hard work and it’s worth it.  Every second.  If it is not hard work, I hate to tell you, but your doing it wrong.  When trying to be strong….

…Select a battle cry.  This will make you more prepared to stick with it when life and love becomes challenging ….Our families verse is: Romans 12:9 ”Let love be genuine, hate what is evil and cling to what is good.”  Your father and I decided that this bible verse would be our battle cry for our family before we were even married, way before you arrived on the scene. Think about it long and hard.  Everyone needs a battle cry.  Choose one that is inspiring. Choose one that makes you feel hopeful in good and bad situations.  Choose one, stick to it, and love it.  Do you love it enough to tattoo it on your body?  Yes? Then carry on and do so.  Tell me after.  Speaking of “clinging to what is good.”…

Watch out for your sister.  Cling to her.  I thought you were the wild one.   I was wrong.  Remember, she is your blood.  Keep one ear open to listen to how her day was.   Tell her she is beautiful – (even if her hair is a giant tuft of tangled curls).  Always try to make time for her, no matter how annoying she grows up to be.   She was your first human friend. If she is acting like a huge pain in the ass, tackle her and tell her to get over herself.  Then call her, text her, snap chat her or tweet her.   Snuggle her if she lets you…. But help us keep an eye on her, seriously, help us.  That’s a whole other letter.

Love you. Cling cling cling!

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